Indescribable....

So there are few times in my life I am literally lost for words (as most of you who know me will well know) but today and tonight I am.....

The day started as a day of business and finished with one of the most traumatic hours yet. I was listening to a song last night and the words were:

"This is how life is to me, life is only therapy
Real expensive and no gaurantees
So I lie here on the couch with my heart hanging out
Frozen solid with fear like a rock in the ground

But You move me, you give me courage I didn't know I had.
You move me, I can't go with you and stay where I am so you move me

You go whistling in the dark making Light of it, making Light of it
And I'll follow with my heart, laughing all the way"

(Susan Ashton- You move me)

And he did for us today, as Caleb lay screaming in pain for an hour as they did his first pin site care. This is a procedure where the skin around the 11 pin sites entering his leg must be cleaned. To do this they must remove the stained dressings and peal back the skin that has adhered to the pin and then clean around and under the skin. They must then push the skin down and out from the pin and resecure a dressing. This has to be repeated daily and from tomorrow Dug and I must undergo training to complete this at home each day.

We were warned that this was painful but even the nurse had to have a break and found it traumatic with a few tears.

And so we literally had to be physically and emotionally moved through the moments of the experience. Dug and I have not cried yet, as you find all you can do is focus on breathing.


And then you line up to get dinner and mix with the other parents and find that you are in the midst of true heros! Parents who face what most of us consider a nightmare! Tonight I talked to

• The father of a 8 year boy diagnosed with a brain tumor last week for the second time.
• The mother of a 16 year old who has been here so many times she cannot count. This time she was old 3 days and that was 2 1/2 weeks ago. She came from Emerald with only 2 pairs of pants and 3 shirts!
• The mother of a 5 year who is here for his 18th surgery as her child was born with her bladder outside her body.

It is here you realize that we are truly blessed!It is here that in our everyday life we indeed take so much for granted!

And so we rise again and give thanks that we are held firm and close by our Ultimate Healer and Comforter. We know that in the midst of this pain the only true source of our strength comes from Him. We know that in the times when our words and touch cannot comfort Caleb that His Holy Spirit will intercede and provide his comfort and we trust and breathe the words that "We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us."