How do we do each day?

Caleb enjoys life on the outside


Do I love the Lord or not? Am I completely surrended to His will in life or not? Do I trust in His word and its power in my life or not? If the answer to these is no, then I must flee to Him and plead for Him to move and intercede in my spirit until I can say "not my will but yours O God"

This is a paraphrase from my favourite book "Stepping Heavenward" which has played in my mind and spirit for the last two weeks. How do we truly reconcile all that we have seen Caleb go through and indeed continues to go through? How do we continue to trust so firmly and strongly? Seriously the only answer for me is to indeed flee to His presence and make the decision to ultimately breathe and live the words that He has given us!!

There have been so many countless moments in these past two weeks where there has been nothing left within us to keep going!! The physical pain for Caleb, the emotional grief for all of us and the exhaustion has quite literally been a constant! And yet in the midst of it, we have found ourselves firm and strongly held in a place of conviction and strength. Do I trust the Lord or not? It really has been the very essence of this challenge for us. For if I trust Him, His word and Hispower then this is just a time of truly completely surrendering and depending on Him.

Caleb continues to struggle at times with both physically pain and emotional grief, but within his bravehearted little spirit I can see an uprising of determination and strength. I can remember talking with Dug several times before the surgery and we had decided quite firmly that this experience would defeat us, hold us downcast or define us by its limitations. But what does that mean in reality?

For us we are learning that it means authentically and honestly feeling the raw and gut wretching pain of the moments.

It means allowing Caleb the space to feel all that he feels without restriction or boundaries

It means being able to admit that it is exhaustingly hard......

BUT it also means that we do not become defined by the pain, but we rise again to walk through the next moment ahead.

It means that in the midst of the grief, we praise and lift His Holy name above all sorrow and pain.

It means that we wake each day although exhausted with a new determination to make this day that we have been given a day of much togetherness, conquerring and joy.

It means that when we are too exhausted to get up on our own we reach for the very tangible hands of our family and friends and allow them to support our weight while we recover.

It means that we hold firm to the belief that we are certainly NEVER alone and that He has
given us endless resources to call upon.

It means that when we are on the floor, too afraid or tired to move, we simply raise our head and let Him be our strength.

It means taking just the next step and then one more and one more.

It means that we are real and we greive BUT that we are not castdown or overcome but simply walking out the journey for each day completely dependant upon Him.