Scars and freedom

Tonight as I bent under the table at dinner, I was struck by a sweet, sweet picture- my boys legs dangling free and unhibited under the table. Today my boys angels leg was freed. The cast came off and although he now wears a heavy AFO (ankle foot orthotic) he can take it off when he is not weight bearing. If he stands he MUST wear it, but for some periods of time, he has freedom. As I cleaned his wounds this afternoon, it was such comfort to hold his little scarred leg, bruised and bloodied in my hands and stroke gently all the way down. His skin is fragile and worn and the leg bears the scars of his journey, but as I stroked I saw release, freedom, relief flood over his face. "Thank you mummy, that is just perfect" he said softly as he basked in the tenderness of my touch on his bare skin. His little leg has been stretched, grown and now altough fragile, it must carry his weight, continue to strengthen and keep walking out each day.

And so it is with our journey..... we are all left a little scarred, a little bruised and worn, but now we must continue the journey, we must get stronger, we must step out our next steps, however we DO NOT have to carry the weight. For our Father tenderly holds us and run his scarred hands over our scars and proclaims that it is perfect.

At the beginning of this journey, I could not have ever imagined, ever comprehended all that we would experience, endure or witness, but I could also not have comprehended how much we would grow, learn and change. In the process of this sacred season we have been refined, strengthened and we are not the same.

-We have learnt what is means to truly live on the WORD. We have had moments when no human comfort can be found excpet through physically CLINGING to the truth of the Word. Even when it does not feel like truth, we have learnt to choose to hold it until it IS truth and life for us.

-We have learnt to find utter safety and certainty not in our circumstances or in our expectations, but in the hope we have in our Saviour and King. We have learnt to not only be content in our circumstance but to 'count it all joy' in the midst of the most difficult moments.

-We have learnt that there are times when the name of Jesus is all that we can utter or whisper in the depths of our pain and that in that moment we are truly held.

-We have learnt to trust in the Spirits promptings in ours. We have learnt to trust the great Healer, great Creator for the wisdom to know how to take each step.

-We have learnt to be courageous and to fight for the things that we need.

-We have learnt that we are never defined by the opinions and advice of men but empowered and given victory and confidence in the provision and healing of our God in heaven.

- We have learnt just how powerful the body of Christ can be to minister the love and grace of Jesus.

- We have learnt that all things do work for the good of those who love him.

- We have learnt what it is to choose beauty over the overwhelming ugly in the world.

- We have learnt that we are not defined by our limitation but annointed to overcome them.

- We have learnt to take joy in the moments of true delight and to redefine what true delight is to us.

- We have learnt to hold one another close and wait.....wait on our God for His perfect timing and His perfect answer.

-We have learnt his answers are not always what we have asked for or wanted, but ultimately that are always good!!

- We have learnt that this sacred season will never end, but it will continue as we walk out all that we can run with hope and joy into.

And so as my boy sleeps with a smile on his face and his legs curled tightly to his little chest, we all see the scars, feel the bruises but give thanks!

For those of you who have walked this journey with us, we have no words........we are so acutley grateful for the times when you literally held us. Whether in prayer, in acts of service or words of encouragement, know that every little bit of it made a difference. You will never know how much but we are so humbly thankful!!

Calebs journey will never be over. We have been given a 6 month reprive from surgery, but even today the specialist was quite realistic that Caleb knee construction has been only partially successful and we will need to intervene sooner rather than later and that will probably mean and permanent brace until surgery is required again. He also requires ankle and foot surgery and the foreseeable future. BUT for today, for this night that can wait..........